May 2013
i can’t have a soul mate because i have no soul
sweeneytad:
*dentist slaughters family in front of you*
they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
egberts:
viarga:
just-laff:
egberts:
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and...
purgatorystuck:
Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old
Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes
I love spanish
purgatorystuck:
Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old
Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes
I love spanish
6 tags
Call of Duty got a playable dog character before...
abunchofassholes:
tsunderisse:
abunchofassholes:
tsunderisse:
abunchofassholes:
johnhexcarter:
this really says a lot about the franchise
I’m sure there will be female playable characters when there are also female enemy combatants - although something tells me that OP desires the former but not the latter.
you’re a white guy that prides himself on hating women & other...
1 tag
The Funniest Reactions to Xbox One - MyBS →
The announcement of the new Xbox One received less than thrilled reviews. Here are some of the best responses to the news.
nargles4life:
benedictedcumberbabeof221:
mighty-thor-of-assgard:
danniauttumns:
ser-merlin-of-valyria:
tumblr has fallen
david karp is dead
yahoo is coming
your second sentence only has 5 syllables. Haiku fail. Though… they all do have 5, poem pass, haiku fail.
it wasn’t a haiku, it was a harry potter reference:
“the ministry has fallen
scrimgeour is dead
they are coming.”
...
6 tags
So I was playing around on Pokefusion when:
best-of-funny:
lvysaur:
sluttyoliveoil:
lvysaur:
lvysaur:
when i say peeka you say boo
peeka
chu
shut the fuck up
X
1 tag
cowboybeboop:
viste:
cowboybeboop:
reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it
IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST
only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan
lnfamy:
whisper one piece trivia into my ear while we do it
1 tag
best-of-funny:
playmelikeyourstratovarius:
zuky:
mishachu:
funeralfrost:
Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’.
starring helena bonham carter as johnny depp
Co-starring Johnny Depp as Helena Bonham Carter.
in claymation
X
songofthestarwhale:
timeywimeywinchester:
twinnerd28:
beatleologist-at-221b:
actualcannibaljakeenglish:
How many tears did The Doctor cry?
A River.
Was it enough to fill two Ponds?
at least enough to water a Rose
1 tag
bluepikmin:
you cant eat the pussy until you finish your vegetables
My hobbies include laying in bed in my underwear while I listen to music and hate myself
b-nksy:
I think taylor swift should walk in while kim kardashian is in labor and say “hey kanye i know you’re having a baby and all, but i just wanted to say that beyonce had the best baby of all time
And then get mad Kayne didn’t acknowledge her and write a whole album about it.
chloweafterdark:
fffcuk:
my friends aren’t allowed to be friends with each other they can only be friends with me and the only time they can talk to each other is to discuss how much they love me
duh
3 tags
sorryforpartybarackin:
the best kind of people are the really cute ones that you wanna cuddle and drink hot chocolate and go for walks in the park and watch dumb movies and build blanket forts with but also slam up against a wall and fuck their brains out
2 tags
best-of-funny:
cyberthug13:
girl: Hey
me: sup
girl: sup
me: enough small talk
X
captviridian:
WHEN YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES AND YOU JUST HOPE THAT THEY’LL COME BACK BUT THEY NEVER DO AND YOU JUST KEEP LYING TO YOURSELF AND TELLING YOURSELF THEY’LL COME BACK
1 tag
galaxys4:
hello students. welcome to my math class. we will be having a class trip this year, the first ever math field trip in history. it’s to hell. here we are
“One moment I’m perfectly fine, and the next I feel a wave of nausea, then panic....”
– Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir, Jenny Lawson
This quote describes me so well it hurts.
(via soultired)
1 tag
